When I heard your music, it made me feel so good. It made me feel like I was home.”

— Jack Askoty, Doig River First Nation Craftsman

Next Song Medicine Women's Gathering is October 18, 2020 at Addington Highlands

Email dearsistermoon@gmail.com for more into and to register.

“I really never trusted ladies/women as they have always hurt me in my life. Today these soul sisters showed me a different side of them (women). I can start to trust them also speaking from the truth and being  ? not being taken advantage of...Loved this workshop.” 

“Very profound workshop...Many thanks!” 

“Truthfully I almost didn’t show up today because I’m feeling so raw and vulnerable with grief. I’m so glad that I took the leap. I felt fully held and supported and connected. It was deeply healing to hear (and relate to) everyone’s stories, insights, fears and dreams. Rita, your voice and songs and bass riffs were such a delight. Much gratitude.” 

“This gathering has touched me in new ways and old ways. I’ve put my past in a perspective that has finally allowed me to release it. Thank you!” 

“Songs, images, stories and personal reflections in a safe, comfortable, open and feeling-filled afternoon and space, transformed by sacred intention. Taking away an expanded field of relationships. Muchisimas gracias!” 

“Dear Rita, so much you have opened my eyes and being to express the emerging crone who doesn’t have to be so nice and continue to be kind.” 

“Dear Rita, I’ve had the loveliest time with you and our sisters today. Thank you for sharing your words and music with us and giving us a chance to put our courage into action and share our own.” 

“I had such trepidation coming...I didn’t know what to expect. Betrayal and knowing that women have often been predators with my husband (as was he) has created an atmosphere of mistrust in my heart, soul and mind. It was a big step for me to sit with a group of women in an atmosphere of openness. Your guidance allowed that opening to begin and my connection to women and my womanhood to begin again.” 

“I loved the flow of activities--discussion, sharing, music (awesome songs, voice, lyrics, message!) I feel gratitude for your devotion to women and for sharing your creativity and talent! Thank you for making it possible to share important thoughts, ideas, and feelings in this circle of women.” 

“Thank you dear lovely Rita! So much wisdom shared by all, so amazing to hear it expressed in so many ways through words, your music, tenderness, various stages of women from everywhere. Thank you from the bottom of my wild passionate heart and soul!” 

“Your zest was palpable over email and in person. You’re the real deal, wow. Here is my feedback: Laying down rules was essential. It cut out lots of potential friction. I loved your musical interludes more than anything. In a circle [inspired by] a book [“Women Who Run With the Wolves”] could have been reading, which would have fatigued that part of my brain because I was emotionally exhausted. I’ve been to numerous women’s circles and this is the only one in which I’ve felt 100% connected. You’re a talented leader. I’m not saying my personal opinion is what I judge by. Rather I am so sensitive to others’ energy and yours was so wonderfully clean and neutral and loving. It bounced lovingly off of others and what is usually torturous for me (feeling others’ stuff until we all settle in) just never happened. The room was pure ease.” 

“I feel so much gratitude for all who were present in this beautiful experience and will hold in my heart and thoughts going forward all that was shared and expressed so genuinely and the sacredness and Blessing of being in circle with all of you very Wise woman!  Thank you!” 

“Rita, a heartful special thank you to you for bringing this all together and for the important questions, for sharing some of your story, for sharing your wisdom, for sharing the stories you chose to work with from “Women Who Run With the Wolves” and for the gift of your music and lyrics that hit home in the heart, while at the same time bringing joyfulness!  Beautiful!” 

 I have deep gratitude in my heart for all there yesterday and the mercurial ability for my sisters there to articulate so eloquently and respectfully in word and song,”

 Song Medicine breathes Rita's trademark musical soul  into
Clarissa Pinkola Estes' "Women Who Run With the Wolves"


 For  WORKSHOPS   &   CONCERTS  contact  dearsistermoon@gmail.com

 

The #WiseNotNice Movement 

#WiseNotNice

copyright, 2019, Rita di Ghent

We need to school our daughters.  Sheltering them has its own way of harming them. 

I was listening to the radio on the drive home. A show was featuring a retrospective of a famous music producer. I won't perpetuate his fame by mentioning his name. Suffice it to say that he has created some of the world's most memorable and beloved tracks. As a musician, my interest was piqued. I wondered why I didn't know a single thing about someone so famous, someone whose music was woven sparkling and profound into the fabric of my youth. As soon as I got home, I researched and found a documentary on him. I sat down and watched. I wasn't prepared for what I learned.

The man, now in jail, is a modern-day Bluebeard. The man who could conjure such beauty on record was the same man who regularly held women hostage and threatened  to kill them if they left him. I guess in both cases those endeavours require charm...and intelligence...and most of all, power. The kind of power that many women wish would rub off on them so that they can finally stop struggling for survival, get a break, be recognized for who they are.

So, this modern-day Bluebeard (MDB) got away with his sinister behaviour for 20 years. And then he got caught. The first jury had one member, an engineer, who believed there needed to be exact proof, like an actual video of MDB killing the victim, before he would submit a verdict of guilty. And so it was that MDB walked. The District Attorney was a good and principled man who wouldn't quit, and he successfully brought MDB to trial for a second time. This time, MDB was found guilty and thrown in the slammer. 

I watched the documentary yesterday. It was the same day I found out about a certain rapper who was arrested for criminal sexual abuse with minors. 

All this got me thinking about my youthful past. How many close calls I had. How free-spirited I was. How I left home at age 15. How I left again at age 18 with a knife shoved in my boot and a broken-off car antenna hidden inside my jacket. How the men circled around me and jockeyed and inwardly drooled. How on one level I was naive and oblivious to it all and drawn to the attention like a shooting star is drawn to the Earth.

Wanting attention is a powerful operator. It can drive us to achieve our potential. It can also drive us to our deaths.

In the case of the woman who MDB killed, she was a then-40-year-old very beautiful, very kind, and much-beloved woman who never quite reached her Hollywood dreams. To make ends meet, she was working as a door person at a club. One night, MDB showed up.  The woman refused him entry because she didn't recognize him right away. Another staff member pointed out her folly, she let MDB in, and for the rest of the night the woman was uber "nice" to MBD--in order to make amends.

Girls are taught from an early age to be "nice". Niceness is our currency. Nice is what we're expected to be. Niceness is also a dark force that leads us to our emotional or even our real deaths. It trumps our Intuition. It makes us choose the wrong mates, the wrong jobs, the wrong paths. It makes us second-guess our true, highly instinctual natures. It opens the door and beckons to Bluebeard.

At the end of the evening, at 2:00 a.m., MDB was leaving the club. He suggested the woman come to his place for a drink. He had to cajole her. Cajole her and exert his power over her. Meanwhile, her intuition was jumping up and down in her apron pocket saying "Don't go! Say no! There's danger ahead!" But the woman felt bad and thought she should probably be "nice". After all, she had embarrassed him. She also thought that this powerful man might somehow rub off on her; that a new corner might be turned; that her gifts might--finally!-- be recognized. That was her big mistake. 

Once at MDB's house, she didn't even take off her coat. Her handbag was still over her shoulder. Now she was following her Intuition, but alas--too late. When she wanted to leave, MDB commanded her to stay with him. When she refused, he ran upstairs, grabbed a revolver, and killed her dead. 

I remember being a young woman walking home alone at night and hearing footsteps behind me. I knew it was a man because it was unlikely that another girl would be walking home alone in the dark. I knew, because the footsteps were determined. I knew, because of the nearness of them. At the time I was too "nice" to cross over to the other side of the street. I didn't want the man to feel bad about himself... Now, not all men who walk behind you at night are gauging the waters. Some are just oblivious. But the thing is, the crucial thing is, that every single time that a woman hears footsteps behind her on a lonely street at night, she must choose to not be "nice".  

As Mother Wolves (or Auntie Wolves, or Guardian Wolves), we need to school our girls that "wise" is better than "nice". That doesn't mean we should squelch our girls' natural loving and loyal hearts, or their tenderness, or their easy way of smiling, or their willingness to care. It means that we need to teach them to hear their Intuition when it talks to them. We need to teach them "If something twigs your 'Spidey senses', run!" "If someone is talking to you in a convincing tone, run!" "If someone says that something bad will happen to you if you don't do what they say, run!"  We need to teach them to listen to their Intuition first and ask questions later. 

So how do we get this out? How do we reach the masses of Older Women Folk who need to do the teaching and the Young Women Folk who need to receive the teachings? What if we started a new social media movement for girls:  #WiseNotNice? Wouldn't that be nice?
 

Musical fable-telling that's penetrating and wide-awake.”
Rita paints lyrical pictures with color and detachment, pulling you in and leaving you wondering.”

— Eye Magazine, Toronto

Stay tuned for the upcoming CD "New Moon Sister Society"...